It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
