just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
