Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
