Yo dont text me then not text me
My liver just broke up with me...
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Randomize
