I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
