I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
