i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
