Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
