dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
