I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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