booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
