I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
