You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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