You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize