He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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