Where are you?
In a non slutty way
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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