Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Pants are for mortals
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
