carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
