5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
