at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
