Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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