This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize