I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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