dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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