Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
