I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
