I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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