That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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