He kissed a someone with a penis
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
