when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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