I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
