just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Just puked most of my soul out..
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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