thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
