He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
