ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Drunk is not a location!
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
