honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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