STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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