He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
