first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize