So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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