I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
