yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
