Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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