Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
