If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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