Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I AM VODKA MAN
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
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