try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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