i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
