I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
As shirtless as possible
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
