we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Randomize
