the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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