Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
