You just made me feel so damn special
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
