apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
