I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
