I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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