My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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