i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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