Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
