he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
