no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
